


Meant to be yours

by CrystalSnow17



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Descent into Madness, Eventual Romance, F/M, Gen, Kinda, Minor Original Character(s), OOC, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Warnings May Change, Yandere, Yandere Natsume
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:39:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalSnow17/pseuds/CrystalSnow17
Summary: In Yumenosaki's standards, Natsume was pretty normal.Or not.And when he fell for y/n, he should've noticed there was something wrong inside of him waiting for a push to snap.Meanwhile, all she wants is to become a decent producer. Not even a good one, decent would be enough.Also posted on Quotev!
Relationships: Akehoshi Subaru & Reader, Akehoshi Subaru/Reader, Anzu & Reader, Reader/Various, Sakasaki Natsume & Reader, Sakasaki Natsume/Reader, Shino Hajime & Reader, Shino Hajime/Reader
Kudos: 24





	1. If only she knew

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the first time I publish a long-fic on English! Since it's not my first language, please point out kindly the grammar errors you can find!
> 
> This is an xreader fanfiction where reader is female, because it's just what I'm used to writing, and your name and last name will be represented by y/n and l/n respectively. If you don't like these placeholders, I can recommend you the chrome extention "InteractiveFics", which lets you replace those kind of placeholders with whatever you want! It's also availible for firefox on android I think!
> 
> Some warnings before starting:
> 
> >In case you didn't read the tags, this is a Yandere!Natsume fanfiction, which means there will be topics such as:
> 
> -Toxic relationships  
> -Obsessive and Posessive behaviours  
> -Descriptions of blood and violence
> 
> **I DO NOT SUPPORT OR PRACTICE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOURS IN REAL LIFE, THIS IS JUST A FANFICTION I WROTE FOR FUN**
> 
> >There will be multiple characters interacting with the reader as love interests as well as in a platonic way, but the main is still Natsume!  
> >Characters might be OOC, specially Natsume.  
> I have nothing more to say but, please enjoy!!

Entering through the window, the last rays of sunshine lighted the 2-A classroom, where a young producer was absentmindedly picking up her things.  
She hadn’t been studying in the producer course for a long time. She had transferred just a few days after summer vacation. There were a lot of things she couldn’t understand since she didn’t have the whole context, but eventually she let it go, ignoring the details almost completely.  
Though, to be honest, she cursed her luck for having joined the story so late.  
And that’s because she hated how she felt since she came here.  
Because even if Yumenosaki Academy was full of talented geniuses and eccentric students where everything happened every day, being out of context and being treated like an unrelated third party made her feel just like that. Alienated, left out, like an unrelated third party who had nothing to do with the sparkling, exciting stories of the idols of the school. To her it was hard, to not say impossible, to fit in the social circles that went around all the groups from first to third year in the Idol course and her only partner in the production course.

Maybe that was what first drew his attention to her, and maybe that was also the reason why she got along so well with Switch.  
Those repressed negative emotions and that feeling of disconnection with her new academic surroundings, just like her wish of feeling necessary and her determination to, maybe for the first time, not give up on something she had started…  
Yes, maybe that was the reason why his eyes were attracted to her the first time he saw her.

It’s easy for Natsume to read people. That’s why it wasn’t hard for him to know that she tried to hide her frustration and nervousness behind a polite, calm facade. It wasn’t hard either to learn that she had a tendency to get lost in her thoughts, spacing out whenever she had the chance. Or that she smiled every single time she got her favorite snack in the cafeteria.  
Maybe she thought the contrary, but she was easy to understand.  
At least, it is for Natsume.

Even now, in this moment, he’s sure she’s thinking about what should I do so that tomorrow’s vocal lesson is easy to understand? and will we have noodles for dinner? I don’t want noodles for dinner...

With a small laugh, he decided to take her out of her thoughts.

“Angel, are you dONE?” he called, startling her enough that she almost dropped her bag. “It’s getting late, let’s go home.”

She frowns and looks down, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

“How long have you been here?” Oh, much, much longer than he’d like to admit.

“Just enOUGH.” He answered while shrugging before turning around, waiting for her classmate to catch up with him before walking towards the exit.  
“Just enough, huh…” she echoed, looking away while trying to think up a good answer for that.

That’s also typical of her, he thought. When you don’t give her the answer she’s expecting, it takes her a moment to think of something to say. That’s why conversations with her were so entertaining for him. It’s so easy to push her to her limits, and her reactions are just so incredibly funny and cute…

“Yes, just enOUGH.” He insists, sending her a side glance with a smile on his face. She laughed, giving him an amused look that, Natsume noticed, never intended to meet his eyes.  
“If only ‘enough’ meant the same for you and me…” shaking her head, she turned her gaze to the front again. “Why were you waiting for me, anyway? You could’ve gone home alone instead of waiting for so long…”  
“Hm? I never said I’d been waiting for a long tiME, Angel~” she rolls her eyes, doubting her instincts for a second, which told her he had really been waiting for a long time. “And, besides, I couldn’t have left you to go alone so late at niGHT…”  
“Natsume, it’s literally six thirty in the afternoon, it isn’t even that dark…”  
“...Because you are easily distracted when you’re late, and it would be way too easy for anyone with bad intentions to take advantage of you in those condiTIONS”  
y/n bit her lip. It’s true that, when she’s late, starts to think too much about all the things she has to do, and because of that she gets distracted and then it gets even later, but…

But that doesn’t mean I’m vulnerable! It’s what Natsume knows she’s thinking right now.

“Not true!” She tries to defend herself, feeling the tip of her ears getting hot because of embarrassment. Natsume laughs, shaking his head.  
“On other days, maybe. But not toDAY.” With a swift movement of his wrist, he showed her a tarot card that seemed to have come out of nowhere.  
“...A card.”  
“The fortune arcana, reversed, which means luck is not on your side toDAY.” She blinks, unimpressed. “But don’t you worry, since I have come to protect you from this cruel fate of yours, scaring away all these negative energies~”  
“...Sometimes I don’t know if you say those things seriously or if you’re just teasing me, you know?” She shrugs. Natsume lets out an offended ‘hmpf’, frowning.  
“Is that my reward for worrying about yOU? How meAN…”

Neither of them added anything while changing their shoes to get out of the school, but that wasn’t a problem for him. For him, it was enough to just watch her every move attently, taking note of all the small details others wouldn’t notice.

“Well... “ as they were getting out of the building, she started to talk, nervous because, possibly, she thought he was truly offended. “It’s just… It’s just that you… read my fortune without me! That’s kinda weird, and also..”  
“So, would you like me to read it with yOU?” Natsume interrupted her surprisingly fast.  
  
y/n looked at him, slightly confused. Seeing her lack of response, he insisted.

“It wouldn’t bother me, if you wanted to be there with me while reading fortunes for othERS.”

y/n laughed softly, looking down to the floor again, or well, looking anywhere but the face of the Idol she was talking to. She opened her mouth to say something and then closed it again, wondering how she should respond. Slightly embarrassed, she felt her cheeks heating up because of Natsume’s unwavering stare.

“Al… Alright.” She stopped for a moment to look back at him and, after making visual contact with his eyes, she looked away to anywhere but him. “If it doesn’t make me be late to class, then it’s alright.”

Natsume smiled.

“Perfect, thEN…~” he said, letting her go first once their train got to the station.

Judging from the way she licked her lips, Natsume concluded that his producer was thinking about what just happened a little nervous and, if the way in which she still avoided eye contact with him wasn’t lying to him, with an accelerated heartbeat.  
She was so, so easy to read.

They somehow managed to find seats together, although the train was slightly packed and they were forced to sit closer than what she would usually consider appropriate, but they didn’t really have a choice, so she didn’t voice her thoughts. She was in the last seat of the bench, between Natsume and the tube people who were standing held, so personal space was… almost non-existent.   
But these details didn’t matter to him, he was happy to be right next to her.  
Understanding the unspoken rule of not talking in the train, the producer took out her phone to check her schedule for tomorrow, while Natsume peeked from the side, acting as if he were looking through his own social media.

_8:00 am - Art History test  
10:30 - Lunch  
…  
3:30 - Lessons with switch  
6:00 - Go home, buy a new notebook_

Exactly as he predicted.

He remembered well that she had told him about the test because he hadn’t attended class during some previous classes, and he also remembered how she worried about his grades even though he assured her he didn’t need to study something he already knew. And oh, he could almost imagine her face when he showed her his perfect grade and compared it to hers!

Natsume repressed a groan, because even if he loved her surprised, almost indiganted face when she saw him slay all the tests even when he rarely showed up to class, he would’ve loved to spend time with her studying.  
And that’s what he suggested, but unfortunately, she already had other plans for those days.  
And he wasn’t involved in her plans.  
But, if only he had been…

“We’re almost there.” Her voice took him out of his mind. He nodded, standing up to help her pass between the crowd of people, always behind her, wanting to protect her from anyone who could try to do anything to her.   
Thinking about the possibility made his blood boil.

But fortunately, they got out of the train and into the same station they needed every time they went home together.

y/n’s house was close to the station. Natsume remembered the way from the first time he accompanied her.   
It was a ten minute walk from the station, turning left in a convenience store and going straight for five minutes. It was the house with a white door behind a small fence that led to a small garden, where her mother had planted violets.  
Her bedroom was on the first floor, that one with a window to the street, which right now was closed.  
Natsume could see from where he was standing a small portion of the desk where she had a lot of notes that, probably, she’s been studying.

And overall, her room looked cute from the outside. He wondered, how would it look from the inside?

“Thank you for taking me home,” she said. “Well… see you tomorrow?”  
“Of course, Angel.” She smiled, and as she was turning around to enter her house, Natsume softly grabbed her wrist making her look at him again. She was confused and opened her mouth to question him, when he got close, so close to her to whisper in her ear.

“Don’t forget we have a date tomoRROW, Angel.”

“Eh…?” she speaks, barely above a whisper with a blush on her cheeks, her heartbeat accelerated before she took a step back. “Too close…”

He laughed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, thEN.” After saying this, and having squeezed her wrist softly, he let her go and turned around to leave. In the distance, he could hear her whisper something between the lines of ‘we never said it was a date before?!’

How cute.  
So, so, so cute.

And he really didn’t know how else to describe her other than that, adorable, cute.

A dumb smile refused to go away from his face even when he was waiting for the street lights to let him cross the street. Resting his face on his right hand, he repressed a laugh, not caring too much about the stares other people could give him.

A not so long time ago, he stopped caring about what strangers thought of him. Which was weird considering he was an Idol and his work literally depended on the opinions strangers had about him.  
But with this… issue in particular, he almost didn’t care.   
Because he was in love.

Natsume was in love, and he couldn’t care about anything else.

* * *

y/n, closing the door of her room after having noodles for dinner (she really didn’t want them, but well…), let her mind wander.  
She sat down on her bed.  
Today, Natsume had taken her home, again. With this, it would be the… tenth consecutive time?  
She wouldn’t be surprised if this became a daily thing, considering most of her jobs were with Switch, but still… She groaned, covering her face with her hands, feeling her cheeks start to blush as she remembered all those times when Natsume teased her as if he was… as if they were…

“As if those things happened…!” she told herself, letting herself fall on her bed, wrinkling the sheets in the process.

She knew, alright?  
She was not stupid and she had been warned about him!!

“He’s just playing, nothing personal…” she reminded herself, recalling Subaru’s words, the day they were on cleaning duty together. Just the two of them, and…

_“Who is Sakasaki-kun and why does he keep skipping every time he’s on cleaning duty?” she complained while smashing together the erasers to get the chalk to fall out of the window. Subaru, who was holding a broom, awkwardly laughed._

_“Natsume Sakasaki, he's… the brightest student of our year, probably? It’s weird to see him in the classroom since first year, though,” he stopped and thought for a second, then he added: “Actually, never mind, I think he’s been coming to class a lot more lately.”_

_“Really?” y/n turned around, trying to recall the names she had heard on her first days at school. “Who is he?”_

_“Ah, that’s his seat” Subaru pointed, before starting to describe him “He’s the suspicious, shady guy with blood red hair and white strands.”_

_The suspicious, shady guy with blood red hair and white strands.  
y/n tried not to laugh at that description._

  
_“Sounds like he’s hard to miss, but I don’t think I’ve seen him before…”  
Subaru shrugged before starting to sweep the floor._

_“Well, to be honest I didn’t remember him that well during our first year, either. He was really popular back then, too...” he got lost in his thoughts, and she looked at the seat that belonged to the boy they were talking about, now holding a cloth to dust the desks.  
Subaru, noticing his classmate had gone silent, asked:_

_“Are you curious?”_

_“Uh? I guess…” she started to clean the desks once she was brought to reality. “What kind of person is he?”_

_“Uhmm… Well… He’s really weird!” He exclaimed. “He always has this weird, sketchy air around him and does all those weird things… Like, when you see him on stage you think it’s just a character for the show? But he does those weird things unironically the whole time!!”_

_“Weird things, like…?”_

_“Like...” he cleared his throat, before doing a posture that was supposed to be imitating that of Natsume’s. “He always speaks like this. As if everything he said were a mystery. And he moves like this! And this! Or this!”_

_Looking at Subaru moving his arms dramatically and talk with that weird tone in his voice, y/n couldn’t help but laugh.  
Subaru smiled at her._

_“And… He’s also a little mean.” He continued. “He says he’s a magician who helps people, but a lot of what he says can come across as mean, and hurtful…”_

_“Which isn’t exactly a good thing when helping people…”_

_“Yeah! He’s always looking for a way to tease someone just to get a reaction out of them… But he doesn’t mean it in a bad way, like, he has no bad intentions.” he nodded to himself, satisfied, before stopping and blinking. “...Maybe.”_

_“Maybe, he says…” y/n shakes her head. “I guess I’ll meet him someday, anyways…”_

_She wasn’t going to think about it too deeply, but what Subaru said next left her with an… unsettling feeling in mind._

_“Um, y/n-chan?” Subaru stopped his task for a second, turning towards her, worry showing clearly in his eyes. “If you’re going to talk to him… be careful.”_

_y/n blinks, confused at the sudden warning that didn’t go well with the silly mood of his previous descriptions of the boy._

_“Uh… careful…?”  
“Well, not for nothing, but…” Subaru looked down, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. “Every time he’s around, weird stuff happens. There’s that weird… mood around him wherever he goes. It’s not that I know him well, but somehow…”  
Somehow, there are moments when something seems to be wrong with him._

That’s what Subaru said.  
But what was he referring to? y/n had no idea, she had no idea about anything when it was about him.

Because maybe it was the fact that Natsume was always there, looking after her and helping her with everything he could, or because it was him and his unit the one place where she felt truly accepted for the first time, but to her, Subaru’s impression of Natsume didn’t make much sense.  
Of course. he had a curious way to express himself and act around his friends, but… In the standards of what’s considered normal in Yumenosaki, Natsume was pretty normal.

Right?

But that wasn’t her main worry right now.

Because when she turned around on her bed and closed her eyes to try and forget about this with hopes of organizing her thoughts, his face appeared in her mind again.

y/n l/n had to admit something, Natsume’s intentions, whatever they were, when interacting with her, kept her thinking about him constantly every time he approached her.

And, for better or worse, she still didn’t know why he insisted so much on getting closer to her.

_Had she known back then, she would’ve made sure not to fall in love with him._


	2. I need to know more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, being the only one who could read what was behind that evasive gaze and polite words, the only one she had started to make a true connection with, made him feel superior.

Natsume was in love.

Or maybe not. But, in his eyes, yes, he was in love with her.

Was it sudden?

Yes, maybe, but also, no, not really.

At the very least, he was more than slightly interested in the second transfer student.

Because she had caught his attention from the moment she stepped into the classroom. 

He remembered clearly. It was one of those rare days he’d decided to spend his time in the classroom instead of the secret room under the library, just a few days after summer vacation ended. She came in that day, nervously biting her bottom lip while approaching the blackboard, absentmindedly scratching her left thumb with her index and middle fingers.

Almost imperceptibly shaky characters wrote her name on the blackboard, and when she introduced herself, Natsume took on her appearance and analized her.

Her uniform was neat, there was nothing missing, but she didn’t wear any accessory that made her stand out between the students. Though, that wouldn’t be hard anyway, since in this part of the school there were only two people who wore the female uniform usually reserved for students in the regular and acting courses.

Perhaps in a clumsy way, she introduced herself, stuttering a little bit, before bowing down just like japanese etiquette required. Once she lifted her face, it could be seen that the tips of her ears were slightly read, possibly because of embarrassment at having made a mistake when introducing herself.

The free seat, right beside Anzu, was a row in front of where he sat. When the new student turned around to look for the seat with her eyes as the homeroom teacher asked her to, his eyes met hers for a moment. Just a second. Almost nothing. And in that short moment, Natsume felt as if an electric shock went through his whole body.

In that short moment, he noticed many things.

Those eyes hid a lot of things. Excitement, anxiety, fear, rage, and he could swear, even apathy.

Somehow, he could see all those emotions and more with only looking in her eyes for a second; all those feelings were the same as those he had felt during his hellish first year of high school. Exactly the same.

_Hmmm…_

He glanced at her, noticing how she shyly introduced herself to Anzu and Baru-kun with a nervous smile and her brows slightly curving downwards, he concluded his first impression of her.

_Interesting._

Natsume limited himself to watch over her during the rest of the day, like he was used to doing before taking action. He was discreet, as always. He knew that Anzu and Trickstar, with their proactive, protagonic personalities, were showing her around the school and telling her where everything was, explaining everything she could need. She listened intently and made questions every now and then, but she really seemed to be too nervous to talk fast and keep up with the pace of their conversation. Luckily, at least Hokke-kun had the decency of letting her speak and make the others do the same; based on his previous experience with Anzu on the latter’s first day, he decided it’d be better not to overwhelm the new producer with information she would (or would not) learn during the course of the year.

On the other side, as nice as it was Subaru’s presence and his cheerful personality for her, every now and then she looked like she felt overwhelmed because of those characteristics of him. 

_Yeah, Baru-kun could have that kind of effect on people_ , Natsume thought.

Let’s add that Yuuki-kun was too nervous to interact for long with her… Poor boy, but he’s doing his best, so he’d give him points for the effort.

Anzu is also doing her best in order not to get distracted with yet another work she promised to do, what was it? The fourth this week? She’s really hopeless. The way in which she fidgeted with her small notebook and pen showed she needed to get something done, but she wasn’t willing to leave the conversation.

And well, Sari-kun wasn’t even there. He was doing some boring paperwork with the student council. And usually, mentioning the student council of Yumenosaki meant there was a more than an hour long storytime coming about everything that happened and why somethings were done in a certain way here.

_Except that this time, it didn’t happen._

The structure of the DreFest was explained to her as well as the impact these had on the students’ grades, but the rest of the story was left out. Maybe in an attempt not to scare her away.

But she’d learn about it sooner or later.

It was a lot later, rather than sooner.

Because, mind you, it was Natsume who told her the who~le story from his point of view, the same day he introduced himself formally to her while they were discussing something about a work for Switch, who’d later become the ones she would constantly work with.

  


_“...What.” was her first reaction after hearing what happened during early spring in this school._

_“That’s right. Our dear main characters won a few battles against the imperium who ruled this school durING…” with his index finger over his lips, he faked counting time. “A little more than a year, maYBE?”_

_“...Really?” Natsume only smiled, noticing how her eyes suddenly lighted up when she realized he was, in fact, telling her a true story. “...Sounds, um…”_

_“Weird? Exciting? TerriBLE?” He suggested. “I know how you feel. This school is really peculiar, if I can say so. That’s the reason why, it attracts so many interesting, special peOPLE.”_

_Like you, he wanted to say._

_Once he pronounced those last words, something seemed to take her aback. Like a deer in the headlights, she shrunk a little on her seat and retreated herself slightly. Her eyes expanded for a second, as she struggled to give an answer._

_Wait, did he just say that out loud?_

_But she soon went back to her prior position, this time resting her hands in the table in front of her, she frowned for a second before laughing._

_“Well… It’s like I just joined the story right at the end of a manga, once everything is over, like…” she looked down, avoiding eye contact before adding something else._

_“...Like a side character in everyone's story.” She looked up instantly when she heard his voice in unison with hers. Natsume smiled and laughed softly. A shy, clumsy smile drew itself on her face as her cheeks blushed, and that sight made him feel like something was tickling his chest, but at that moment he didn’t know why._

_“Well, I believe that is everything you need to know about this schOOL.” He paused. “For nOW.”_

_“Huh? You mean, there’s more?” As if she had forgotten how embarrassed she felt before, she approached him, who narrowed his eyes and smirked at her, putting his hands on her shoulders._

_“As you’ll learn while you’re hERE, Angel…” She tensed, noticing Natsume started to get closer and closer to her. “The walls of this school are not only stained with blOOD, but…”_

_She held her breath, feeling his hair tickling her neck as he whispered in her ear._

_“...They have ears and eyES.” He giggled, before he took a step back and let the girl breathe again._

_He smiled, looking at the deepening blush on her face. Without giving her time to recover, he stood up and said:_

_“So, I’m counting on you to help us with the rest of the details for our performance.”_

_“Eh? Oh, yes!” The producer, suddenly remembering what they were doing before, started to pick up and set apart different paper sheets to organize them in folders while taking some other sheets out for something she needed to do._

_The red-haired boy stood there for a moment, just looking at her, taking note of her every move, even the smallest ones. Something warm started to grow inside of him, right in his chest. And for an instant, the only thing he could see was her, her, and only her._

_Why? Why, someone like her could…?_

_“...ki-kun?” Why, someone like her could fill all his thoughts? “...Sakasaki-kun, are you alright?”_

_He blinks, finally noticing she’s now looking at him, her worry overshadowing the embarrassment she felt when she noticed he was staring at her. Natsume, taken aback, looked away fast with a frown and crossed his arms._

_“Why are you so formal with me?” he asked and, even if it was not his intention to say it out loud, he added: “̸̡̅E̴̫̋v̸̜̍e̵̖̒n̷̢ ̴̢͝t̶̺̃h̴̹̿o̶͎͌ű̵̡ġ̸̤h̶͓͆ ̴̩̈́I̷̽͜’̷̠͐d̴͚̐ ̴̭͛l̶̮͐i̵̪̕ḵ̶̊e̶̮ ̴̳̑ÿ̶̦́o̸̤͑ů̸͙ ̸̞̒t̸̳̂ọ̵͌ ̷̰̈c̷̟̀a̶̤̋l̵̲͗l̴̙̇ ̴̱͘ṁ̸͓e̵̱̾ ̸̹b̶̹̊y̶̳̐ ̷̯͋m̶̱̉y̷͍͐ ̸̮͊n̴̪̔a̷͓͝m̴͕̔e̵̤̋,̶̮̿ ̸̳̈t̴̮͝o̶̯̿ŏ̷͖…̸̭͑”̸̫̈́_

_y/n parted her lips and then closed them immediately, before gulping._

_“Um… would it really be okay, if I called you by your name…?” she cautiously asked. Once he heard those words, Natsume noticed he had said it out loud without wanting to. But it was too late to take it back without looking pathetic, he decides, as he starts to elaborate on a reasoning for the request he made up on the spot._

_“It’s only fair, isn’t it?” It took a little bit of willpower to look at her in the eye again. “Considering you call Baru-kun by his name, and that I call you by a nickname, wouldn’t it be fair if you, too, called me by my first name?”_

_Eh…_

_She contemplated for a second, before nodding and letting her shoulders relax, avoiding his eyes again._

_“...Well, if that’s what you want,” y/n smiled. “...Natsume.”_

_Listening his name coming out of her lips made that weird warmth on his chest come back, and before those feelings could show on his face, he turned around while nodding._

_“Alright, then…”_

And then he walked away.

The memory of that day still made his heart beat faster. 

When Natsume finally got to his bedroom and let himself drop on his bed he turned on his phone, and then he automatically opened the gallery where, between screenshots and some pictures of Switch and his cats, the picture of his Angel, y/n, sleeping on a desk on the library stood out.

In the moment he found her sleeping there he acted before thinking, snapping the picture as fast as he could. It wasn’t his intention to take her picture without permission, but she was there, sleeping on many paper sheets he didn’t care about, for once looking relaxed, happy and vulnerable with her guard low.

Looking at the picture made him smile like an idiot, _and back then he still dared to deny he was in love._

Angel.

That was the nickname he gave her, the moment they talked for the first time. What was angelical about her? Natsume would say everything.

Ironically, and in spite of all the negativity she hid inside, y/n l/n was a person who got distracted easily, who despite being so obviously nervous, so pathetically weak and stupidly indecisive did her best to act as if everything were alright.

And the worst part was that everyone believed her.

So, for her, who’s surprisingly good at lying and tries to do the right thing, Angel.

Natsume covered his face with both hands and started laughing, shaking his head.

“Ah… how did I end up caring about you, Angel?” All of a sudden, his face went back to a neutral expression, as he stared at the ceiling. “...Somehow, it’s troublesome.”

Looking back at the two months he had spent interacting with her, a lot of things were clear to him. More than what should be normal knowing someone during such a little amount of time.

Even though she did her best during class, she didn’t stand out in any subject.

Even though she did her best to be a good producer, she was always helped out by others and she didn’t like that one bit.

Even though she always tried to be polite, kind and get along with everyone, she felt alienated from every social group she was incorporated to (except maybe his group, except maybe Switch?).

No one could understand her.

No one.

But him.

Because she was his reflection, she was similar to what he used to be.

_Negative, negative, negative._

_Her eyes told of darkness, and nobody but him took notice of it._

Somehow, being the only one who could read what was behind that evasive gaze and polite words, the only one she had started to make a true connection with, made him feel superior.

Natsume remembered, then, what he thought during the time he spent watching her from afar. And, between all his thoughts and conclusions about her, one stood out. One that had been burned into his mind, since the moment their eyes met.

_I want to know more._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it for today! Natsume's yandere will show itself slowly but surely! For now it's just in his mind~
> 
> Let me know what you think on the comments, if you want!


	3. A bad feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...I just got a bad feeling, that’s all.” Forcing himself to smile, he looked at his friend. “...But let’s not talk about that!"

“So, this means…” a student, whose name Natsume didn’t bother to remember, asked while looking at the cards aligned in front of him on the table inside of the game research clubroom.

“You need to watch your steps, lest you may let yourself do something you will regRET.” The red-haired boy cautiously stared at something on his crystal ball. “...I see too much condensed energy here, but it isn’t quite clear whether or not it’s positive, sO…” 

“Ugh, I’ll have to be careful…” the nameless student left 2600 yen on the table before thanking him. Taking a yellow wristband with him, which was his lucky charm of the month that would (according to Natsume) decrease the possibilities of his project failing, he left the room.

Once the door closed behind him, y/n spoke.

“So, was that true or…?” Natsume rolled his eyes.

“Of course it was true. I would never give a fake reading to anyONE.” the girl glanced skeptically at the ‘lucky items’ he sold to some students who came to have their fortunes told, somehow not believing the whole story.

“Sorry, I was just curious…” y/n shrugs, closing her notebook before walking over to the table, sitting in front of him. “So… would you please tell me my true fortune for today?”

While saying that, she had a small smile on her face.

Natsume nodded, picking up his cards before mixing them up. He looked up at her face and smiled.

“Do you have any specific questions you’d like to have answERED, Angel?” she stopped to think for a moment before shrugging.

“Not really, but…” she looked down. “Uhh… Could you tell me about my luck with… work?” Natsume laughed.

“Understood, Angel…” As Natsume put his cards away, y/n looked at him quizzically. “Just for you, I will read your fortune in a special WAY~”

“A special way…?” Natsume reached out with his left hand as if waiting for her to take it.

“Take my hand, Angel.” He asked. Though taken a little bit aback, she put her right hand over his. He then intertwined their fingers, and while keeping a calm, professional facade, he took note of how her hand seemed to fit perfectly with his, of how her warmth made him feel so at ease.

“Okay… Now what?” Natsume’s smile widened just a tiny, almost imperceptible bit as he heard her question.

“Now, Angel, you have to breathe, and keep quiet, while I do my wORK.” y/n nodded, and Natsume noticed how her grip on his hand had tightened for a second before going back to normal. He repressed a smile, as he closed his eyes with his right hand just barely touching the crystal ball in front of him.

Like this, he spent at least thirty seconds, in which y/n, perhaps a bit uncomfortable with the physical touch they were having, tried to distract herself thinking about something, whatever, anything but him, whose hand sometimes tightened on hers only enough to be firm, but not enough to hurt.

Yet that seemed to be impossible, as her gaze refused to go away from his face. Maybe it was how the room was ambientated at the moment, but something about him, something about his delicate, doll-like features such as his flawless skin, his long, red eyelashes matching his hair resting against his cheeks or his soft-looking lips made it impossible for her to look away from him.

_As if there was something magical about him._

Her embarrassing thoughts about him were soon shooed away, as she noticed he started to move his lips to speak.

“You will soon receive a special offer, as I see it, it shouldn’t be later than tomorROW.” He stated, before keeping silent for a few moments. His eyebrows furrowed slightly in what seemed to be disgust, but she couldn’t quite tell if it really was it, or if he was only trying to focus. “... I cannot see, however, who it is that you will be working WITH.” 

_Don’t talk,_ he added as she parted her lips making her close her mouth immediately, a bit startled that he knew even though his eyes were still closed.

Two long minutes passed, and Natsume then slowly opened his eyes, looking into her eyes as if he were staring at her soul. And she could swear for her life, right then and there, that those amber eyes were shining.

_“A dark cloud is approaching your way. Be careful with your words.”_ She gulped. 

After a few seconds, Natsume let go of her hand, albeit hesitantly.

“You may speak nOW,” he said.

“What do you mean, ‘a dark cloud’...?” y/n asked, Natsume looked down at the crystal ball before returning his gaze at her.

“It means that some kind of obstacle will cause you troubles down the roAD, Angel.” He answered. “It could be something as simple as a cold, or something as terrible as an accident. I cannot see exactly what It is, as it seems to be still too far awAY.”

“...Should I be worried?” She frowned. The redhead smiled at her, finding her slight worry endearing, for some reason.

“...No, it’s not necessary. I will keep you saFE~” y/n, honestly, felt surprised when she heard this. But…

“Wait, does that mean you’re going to sell me a lucky charm or…?” 

Yes. Yes that was it, that was what he wanted from the start, she deadpanned mentally when Natsume held a simple necklace with a single rose quartz stone in front of her face, with an innocent smile on his face as he started to explain.

“This Is your lucky charm, yES… However, you don’t have to pay for IT.” the girl frowned.

“I can’t just take it like that… Isn’t it like, expensive? It looks expensive…” Natsume tilted his head, the smile never leaving his face.

“It may be expensIVE, but it also may not BE.” He shrugged. “Please, take IT? I just want to show you it wORKS.”

She stared at the necklace, still not sure about taking it.

“.̸.̷.̸P̷l̴e̸a̶s̸e̴?̸” he asked again, this time almost whispering. Feeling a bit flustered for some reason, she took it and put it on.

“...Alright, but still, let me make it up to you? Like, I could buy you something to eat, or…” Natsume smiled, looking down at the stone on the necklace for an instant before looking at her.

“Although it’s not necesSARY, I wouldn’t mind it if we went out together to eat someDAY.” He left that in the air, and she took it as a yes.

“Okay, so… uh, maybe next week? I could buy a cake, though…” Natsume felt his heart jump at the suggestion, and quickly nodded with a satisfied smile on his face, downplaying it as being sure of the effects of the necklace.

“Perfect, thEN. I promise you, this necklace will protect you from _any_ dangER..~” Just when she was about to open her mouth to say something, the sound of the bell made her quickly stand up.

“Uh-oh… We need to get to the classroom!” y/n said, almost sprinting to the door just to come back to take her school bag and then walking out the door. 

Natsume looked at her before standing up as well and walking beside her, and he let his gaze go down to the necklace she wore as a small smile drew itself on his face. 

Since she was worried about being late to class, she didn’t notice him staring at all.

* * *

Resting her head on the desk after having turned in her test, y/n groaned not being sure about her answers. 

Should she have asked Natsume for some kind of memory spell…? Probably wouldn’t have worked, anyway…

She heard her last name being called by a teacher, so she looked up.

“Yes?” She asked.

“Please come to the Faculty Room, there’s a work offer for you.” She blinked, turning around to make eye contact with Natsume, whose face had practically written ‘I told you’ on it.

“Un-understood!” y/n stood up and followed the teacher out of the classroom, wondering if this was really the ‘special offer’ Natsume mentioned on her fortune reading.

He looked at her go, a glint of fondness obvious on his eyes.

“Uwah, he’s doing it again...” his eyebrow twitched when he heard Subaru’s voice not so far from where he was. He turned around, jokingly glaring at his classmate.

“I’m not doing anythING, Baru-kun.” Subaru sighed, shaking his head, as Makoto laughed awkwardly next to him.

“Don’t try to hide it, Natsume! You practically had hearts in your eyes when you saw y/n-chan go… and it’s like that every time you look at her, it’s getting creepy!” Natsume giggled, resting his face on one hand while softly narrowing his eyes at Subaru.

“Creepy, you sAY… Is there a problem in how I see m̴̟͛ỵ̴̉ Angel, Baru-kun?” Subaru scratched his head, humming.

“A problem, not really, but…” He tried to think up something that described what he wanted to say.

“I mean, it just feels like it came out of nowhere, kind of?” Makoto said. “I don’t really know how to explain it. It’s just weird how sometimes you just stare at nothing and then at her, so it’s…”

“...Oh, I know! It’s way too OOC for you!!” Subaru finally added. “Both Out Of Character and Out Of Context- That’s it, yup, yup!” 

“Woah, what a way to explain it… Akehoshi-kun, you’re really good at this!” Makoto praised him, and Subaru puffed out his chest proudly. As Natsume was about to reply, a heavy sigh came from their first producer who had been just watching (and judging) them in silence from her seat.

“Anzu? What's wrong?” Subaru asked as the three’s attention went back to her.

“You guys… Are all idiots.” She simply said, closing her notebook. “For starters, just talking about that kind of thing in public **_is_** a problem.” She frowned. “Would you like to be the protagonists of some petty dating scandal? That kind of thing can potentially ruin your whole careers, you know?”

Makoto gulped, suddenly understanding her annoyance.

“A scandal… Well, you aren’t wrong but…” 

“...But it’s not like anyone here has any true ill intent against any of us, riGHT?” Natsume added, shrugging. “It’s true what you say, thoUGH, Koneko-chan. Still, it’s none of anyone’s business whether or not I look at Angel once in a whILE.”

“He said, still looking at her.” Natsume, with his cheeks heating up, glared at Subaru, who just laughed at his reaction. Anzu could only shake her head at their behaviour.

“Your fans will think it is, though, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” The only girl left in the classroom stood up and stretched. “I should go and check that job with y/n-chan too…”

“Then why didn’t you go from the stART?” Natsume asked, suddenly having a bad feeling about this.

“Ah, well… I kinda requested to pass a job to her, since I have my whole schedule packed during the next two weeks…” The next… two weeks…? “I should check if everything’s in order, so I’ll see you guys later!” Anzu waved at them before walking out of the classroom.

“A~nd there she goes. I guess it’s nice she’s not overworking herself too much, but still-- Uh, Sakasaki-kun? Are you okay?” Natsume blinked and turned to face Makoto again.

“Yes, why?” He spoke with his usual tone, so his classmate shrugged.

“It just looked like you spaced out a bit there, so…” Natsume shook his head.

“Not really. I was wondering if Switch had any important schedule within the next two weEKS.” He stood up. “...And to confirm that I need to check somewhere elSE. So Good Night, you tWO~” Natsume turned around and started to walk away, leaving behind a confused Makoto and a pouting Subaru.

“Eh, wait! don’t just walk away from a conversation like that!! ...He walked away from a conversation like that...” Subaru frowned, staring at the door where he saw three of his classmates walk out. Makoto stared too, before turning his gaze at him, worried.

“Um, is there something on the door…?” Subaru looked away.

“...I just got a bad feeling, that’s all.” Forcing himself to smile, he looked at his friend. “...But let’s not talk about that! Hey, did you get Hokke’s message with that picture of…?” 

As their conversation trailed off to something lighter, Subaru couldn’t help but feel concerned about that bad feeling in the back of his mind.

* * *

Natsume didn’t see y/n at all after that. Not at lunch, not after school. And that’s why now he was inside of his secret room, typing in his phone to try and get some answers from her. He didn’t want to seem pushy or clingy, but he was really worried about her, so… There were at least ten messages from him to her in their LINE chat log.

At some point he gave up and let his phone rest on the table, resting his face on the palm of his hand while scoffing and staring at the wall, bored.

He should use his time to do something useful or entertaining, but today it seemed like everyone just had to be busy. Sora had a group project for a non-idol related subject so he was at the cafeteria working with some classmates and Senpai was running errands with Mika for the Handicraft Club Room, which meant practice had to be called off that day… As for his Oddballs nii-sans, it was more of the same plus unit practices.

Honestly, he was too bored. And he would do something to entertain himself like he always did, but today… Today he couldn’t really concentrate on anything. Natsume looked back at his phone, frowning. Where was she…? Did she feel sick and went back home early, or…? 

Did something bad happen to her? 

He got chills just thinking about y/n getting hurt.

Just when he was about to take his phone to send her another text, the screen lit up with a _ping!_ sound coming out of it. He hurriedly took it on his hands, tapping the notification and cursing at his phone when it showed he needed to introduce his password. He unlocked the phone and opened her chat log.

  


**[Angel~]:** that’s a lot of messages lol

 **[Angel~]:** sorry for disappearing without a word though! We kind of had to run due to unexpected circumstances...(・_・;)

  


_“‘We’…?”_

**[Natsume]:** You mean you and Koneko-chan?

**[Angel~]:** Oh, no, she just gave me some advice for this job and went to do some top secret thing she couldn’t give details about just yet! 

**[Angel~]:** I meant me, Kunugi-sensei and Nito-senpai’s unit!

 **[Angel~]:** I know it’s kind of late and all so I hope you didn’t wait for me at school to go home…?

**[Natsume]:** I dID.

**[Angel~]:** omg I’m so sorry ( ; ω ; ) We’re still at this place so I can’t really keep talking to you but

 **[Angel~]:** Just know I’ll be busy during the following week and a half! 

**[Angel~]:** well probably

 **[Angel~]:** stuff could happen but that’s the plan at least

**[Natsume]:** But *where* are you, Angel?

**[Angel~]:** A recording studio!

A minute passed.

**[Angel~]:** ...And now on the way to another! I’ll see you later!

  


**[Natsume]:** Alright. Take care and be careful when you go hOME, Angel.

  


Ah, so that was it. She was working, that’s why she had disappeared.

But… If she was going to be busy with that… She wouldn’t be on Switch’s practices for the next week and a half (probably).

He didn’t like how that sounded, though he could recognize that was a childish whim. It was a good thing she had received a job offer, and he knew she would, since he read her fortune earlier that day; and he admitted, he was annoyed when he couldn’t see who she was going to work with. But now, he knew that too.

_Ra*bits._

He didn’t know much about them, besides the fact that Nito-senpai used to be on Shu-niisan’s unit and one of the others was Sora’s classmate.

In his opinion, they were okay. Not that out-standing, but not that unknown either.

Whatever they were going to do, he couldn’t really bring himself to care too much about them either way. 

And that’s why he felt slightly relieved when he heard they were the ones she’d be working with.

Until three days later, when he saw **_that._**

“...Don’t think she cares so much, so…” The blue-haired kid of Ra*bits told one of his unit mates, putting on his shoes to get out of the building.

“She was acting professionally back there! It’s not like l/n-senpai won’t listen to you after she’s done talking with the adults in the set?” That was the common-looking kid of Ra*bits.

“Y-you really think so, Tomoya-kun?! S-should I really try to…?” Try to _what_ , blue-haired kid?

“Absolutely! It won’t hurt to try, right?” Tomoya assured his friend. “...And if in the end it does, it won’t be the end of the world!” Hajime sighed, looking down at his feet, he could also feel his cheeks heating up slightly.

“It’s just… l/n-senpai is too kind to tell the truth sometimes…” He shook his head. “I don’t want to trouble her too much!”

“It’ll be fine, I tell you!” He paused to take his phone out of his pocket. “...Oh, it’s a message from Nii-chan. He says the van just got to the parking lot.”

“Oh, we should hurry and go, right?” With a nod, the first year students went on their way to the school’s parking lot. 

What.

What the hell was that just now?

They were talking about y/n, right? There wasn’t any other l/n-senpai in the whole school they could talk about.

But why?

What did Hajime want to try related to y/n and **_why did he blush when he was talking about her?_**

He didn’t care about whatever they did before.

But now he did.

Something twisted inside of him as he clenched his fists, staring in the direction his kouhais went to.

Natsume frowned, harshly turning around and going inside one of his secret passages to get to his secret room without being seen.

He didn’t feel like going home anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today! I feel like it's kind of short...? But I like how it came out!  
> Also sorry for taking so long! Winter break starts for me in two weeks so maybe then I'll update faster! Thank you so much for your kudos and bookmarks!


	4. Hopefully, with no regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Hopefully and with no regrets, Natsume thought, they will die soon).

Hajime was standing, looking down at his hands with his cheeks and the tip of his ears slightly flushed. Gulping down, he managed to let the words slip past his lips.

“Senpai, will you be free anytime soon?” He said, still not looking up. “I think I… I have to… No, I need to…!”

He cringed and covered his face with his hands, now looking at the ceiling of the practice room in embarrassment.

“As I thought, this is just too hard and embarrassing…!!” The person in front of him sighed.

“Hajime, honestly… You should just ask her directly to change your challenge if it causes you so much trouble.” His best friend said, looking down at the notebook where the producer had written down the things they had to do for the variety show.

“B-but that would only cause her trouble, wouldn’t it? Then there’s the vocal register challenge and competition, too…” he sighed. “I… I have to do a good job for everyone’s sake but... I’m still not sure about anything at all…”

“Well, the challenge is one thing, but… If you can’t approach l/n-senpai, why don’t you ask Anzu-senpai for advice on vocal lessons then? You can talk to her normally as far as I know...”

“...It’s not like I can’t talk to l/n-senpai now, but… L-last time I tried…” Hajime frowned, clearly frustrated.

“Yeah, I remember. The fire alarm went off for some reason, you two panicked and then ran outside…”

“I don’t even know why that happened!! But… after that, I sort of lost the confidence I had built up, so…”

“Come on, Hajime! It won’t happen twice, you just have to go there and tell her! I’ll even go with you if you want.”

“I-I think it wouldn’t be the same if you were there... But, I’ll think about it. Maybe we should just focus on the vocal exercises for now?”

“If you say so, yeah, let’s do that.”

The two first years started their usual routine of vocal exercises, leaving behind the things written in the notebook they had received from the producer.

Hajime was nervous, anyone could tell if they looked at him for a second. Why, though?

Indeed, why… 

He sang one of their songs as practice, and then rehearsed a song of a famous group he was supposed to cover. Once, twice, thrice. The lyrics of the song fell from his lips and disappeared into the walls of the practice room, his voice tuned and harmonizing with that of his best friend, and this was, probably one of their best attempts at getting the song right yet.

And still, in between his nervous thoughts about the show and the scheduled recordings he was trying to remember, she just appeared again and again and again.

Over and over again, and if the memory hadn’t been so soothing to his heart, he’d start to think of it as some sort of curse.

And it could become one, but he didn’t know that. He didn’t know, doesn’t need to know, and will never know.

* * *

y/n was typing away on a laptop during lunchtime at the classroom, an empty plastic cup of coffee next to her chair on the floor. Her wrists and especially her back ached so much she could swear they were going to break the moment she started to change positions again. But she couldn’t stop, not now, probably not ever again.

She looked at the time on the corner of the screen and kept typing, organizing the script and checking for any grammar mistake on the way.

This had to be perfect. She couldn’t accept anything less than perfect when the responsibility was so big.

This was her first time working for a project this big outside of the school, and it was going to define not only her future in the entertainment industry, but Ra*bits future as well. 

She dropped her head when the word window froze and let out a pathetic whimper, blessing and cursing their luck at the same time.

“I swear, if this stupid computer dies now, I’m jumping out the window…”

“Saying such thINGS is not as fun as you think it IS, Angel.” Natsume’s voice behind her startled her, as he turned around to find him looking at her with a frown on his face. “It isn’t deAD, but it might die soon if you don’t shut it dOWN.”

y/n turned around again and noticed the battery was low. She saved her document quickly and proceeded to shut down the laptop. After closing it, she rested her head over it and sighed heavily. The boy behind her chuckled at her actions.

Finally, he could talk to her again.

“For the looks of IT, you don’t seem to be doing alRIGHT.” The girl grumbles at her classmate’s words.

“You’re right, I’m not okay and I don’t think I’ll be okay ever again after this…” With a tint of sarcasm on her voice, she sat straight and stretched her back. “Remember this as the job that gave me a mild trauma, honestly all of this is just…” Natsume giggled, pulling an empty chair next to her desk and sitting there.

“I could agree with YOU if you actually told me what it is abOUT.” y/n bit her lip.

“I wish I could, because I really need to rant about this…” She nervously pulled at her hair as if trying to form long bangs to cover her face before arranging her hair the way it was before. “But there’s this thing called a confidence agreement so I can’t…”

Well, damn it.

“How troubleSOME… All I want to do is help my cute little Angel to reLAX.” Trying to ignore his flirting, y/n looked away. Natsume stared for a second at the tips of her ears, which had flushed in a soft shade of red.

“I appreciate your worry, but I really can’t talk about it to anyone besides the Ra*bits members.” While she wasn’t looking, Natsume frowned and looked down, twirling the longer streak of his hair with his fingers.

He hated being left out. Especially by her.

“Huh, is t̶h̸a̷t̷ ̴s̴o̶...” he mumbled, an unsettling feeling of insecurity trying to set down on his mind as he quickly tried to change the topic. “Well, good lUCK to you, Angel.”

As she turned around, he smiled at her and added: “If you ever need anyTHING you can count on ME.”

“...Thank you very much, Natsume.” She gave him a small smile.

“No probLEM, Angel.” 

As he parted his lips to speak again, the sound of the school’s speakers interrupted their conversation.

_“Nito Nazuna from 3-B, Shino Hajime and Mashiro Tomoya from 1-A, Tenma Mitsuru from 1-B and l/n f/n from 2-A, please report to the Faculty Room. Repeat, Nito Nazuna from 3-B…”_

y/n whimpered again, dramatically resting her head on her hands. She let out a heavy sigh, before standing up and arranging her things on her bag.

“I’m starting to believe you cursed me the day you read my fortune, honestly…” Though annoyed at the fact that she was going away yet again, Natsume managed to laugh at her words.

“I would NEVER do anything to harm YOU.” He said, as she excused herself. She turned away and while she was taking her first step towards the door, he softly held her back by the wrist. y/n turned around slightly, looking down at her classmate.

The red haired boy caressed her hand, looking at it with a frown. “...If it’s too hard, please r̵e̴l̷y̴ ̵o̴n̶ ̵m̶e̶.̴ I’ll do whatever I can to help yOU.”

She carefully tugged her hand away, as a genuine smile made its way to her face.

“I know you would. Thank you, really.” Awkwardly waving her hand, she exited the room for real this time.

Natsume sighed.

Truth was, y/n had been so busy they hadn’t talked at all in the past few days. Whenever she was taking a break, she’d still be seen staring either at her laptop or phone screen, or going over lesson plans for the Ra*bits kids with Nazuna, or eating some light snack with Tomoya and Mitsuru or… quietly talking with Hajime about something that no one really knew what was.

All of this was usually either at the cafeteria or a practice room, way after school was over.

To say he was jealous would (not) be exaggerating. But he felt… lonely.

And one time he couldn’t stand how close Hajime was to her, peeking to her phone and whispering something to her _as if they were some sort of couple looking at their date pictures_ he had accidentally pressed an emergency button that turned on the fire alarm.

He hid behind the closest wall when he heard both of them scream in panic and run away from the room. When he heard more people starting to get out of the building, he speed-walked outside as if he had just gotten there. Outside, there they were. Both gasping for breath, weak on their knees and sitting down on the yard.

He approached them, a mix of fake and actual worry towards the both of them showing on his face.

“Are you two alRIGHT...?” Hajime didn’t know whether to nod or shake his head, he was just trying to get his breath to even. y/n, moving her hand up and down Hajime’s back, nodded.

“Y-yeah, it was just… the alarm… is there a fire…?”

“I don’t kNOW.” He said. Like a liar. “I was going for a sNACK in the cafeteria and then it went OFF.”

“I… I hope everyone’s alright…” The youngest boy said, finally managing to breathe normally again.

“They’ll all be alright, Hajime-kun, don’t worry.” The girl assured him, just as the boy’s unit members came into sight and approached with worry and confusion. y/n tugged softly at his arm and helped him stand up, before both of them walked to meet the other Ra*bits’ members.

_Hajime-kun._

_Hajime-kun._

_Hajime-kun._

Was she on a first name basis with him? 

“...I’m sorry, Nito-senpai. I dropped the stylus you lent me in the practice room…”

“No, don’t worry about that. What’s important is that you both are alright, okay...?”

Was it because of social hierarchy, because she was older than him?

“l/n-senpai, you look a little pale…”

“D-do I, really, Mashiro-kun…?”

“l/n-chan-senpai, please eat this piece of bread and try to relax!!”

“Thank you, Tenma-kun…”

If not…

_Why?_

“...I’m sorry for the trouble, senpai…” Hajime said, looking down and struggling not to lean on his friends.

“You did nothing wrong, Hajime-kun.” After taking a bit of the piece of bread her kouhai had given her, she talked to Hajime with a soft voice. “Try to breathe and relax, we’ll talk about everything later. For now, focus on getting better, okay?” Albeit a bit hesitant, she patted his head and stroked his hair softly.

_Why, when it took her so long to call_ him _by his name, why Hajime?_

“...Okay.” There was a hint of disappointment hidden in his eyes, but nobody noticed as the five of them exchanged what they knew of the situation with each other.

_Why…? Why, why? Why why why why why why_ **_why WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY--?_ **

“Why are you sulking.” Anzu deadpanned behind Natsume, with a box of strawberry juice on her right hand and a clipboard with a pen under her left arm.

“...I’m not sulkING, Koneko-chan.” She rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say…” She turned around and walked towards someone else, probably checking that everyone was alright. Him? Sulking? For what could he be sulking? He wasn’t sulking! Not at all!

“Natsume-kun! Are you okay?!” Said boy sighed in exasperation as his annoying senpai-and-childhood-friend approached him while running, his glasses somewhat twisted and his hair more of a mess than it usually is. Cute little Sora going behind him, frowning and notoriously affected by the gloomy atmosphere of worry most of the students had.

Now, he felt a little guilty for pressing the button. 

But only a little, tiny bit.

“Of course I am FINE, stupid meganEE. For the looks of IT, you seem to be doing as BAD as alwAYS.” He crossed his arms, before guiltily looking at Sora. “What about you, Sora? Are you okAY?”

“Sora is fine… but everyone’s color is worried and scared…” The blond looked down. Natsume held him in his arms, another pang of guilt going through him as he hoped Sora didn’t notice it had been his fault.

“It was just an accidENT. From what I’ve hEARD, no one saw any FIRE anywHERE.”

“That’s what we heard too, but…” Tsumugi scratched his neck. “Since the school is so big, it could’ve been anywhere, so we got worried…”

“...? Shisho…”

As Sora stepped back and stared at his face, Natsume felt himself starting to sweat.

“Y-yes? What is IT, Sora?” Switch’s youngest member calmly looked around, his gaze resting for a moment in Ra*bits and y/n for a second before looking into Natsume’s eyes.

“Are you sulking…?” Natsume cried internally, not sure if it was of embarrassment or relief. Nevertheless, he blushed and patted his head, turning his back to the source of his (not) sulking.

“Sora, there are tiMES when you just DON’T tell people some THINGS…” Tilting his head, Sora smiled at him.

“It’s alright, Shisho! We all have days like this, is what Sora’s parents always tell Sora!” Sora hugged him. “Sora will be more careful from now on, so please cheer up!”

“Y-yeAH…” Hugging back his kouhai, he saw from the corner of his eye how y/n kept her hand on Hajime’s shoulder and his eyebrows furrowed slightly. He didn’t fail to notice Tsumugi’s knowing smile and look towards him.

“Natsume-kun---”

“̴S̶h̵u̸t̶ ̵u̵p̵,̷ ̵s̸t̷u̴p̴i̶d̷ ̷g̵l̸a̸s̶s̴e̴s̷.̶”̸

“Right, right…” The older boy laughed.

* * *

 _“Give me a break…”_ y/n thought, drinking from a box of strawberry juice while looking at the… _scene_ , in front of her.

“Onii-chan! Please play with me!” a small brunette held her teddy bear towards Nazuna, he giggled and crouched down in front of her.

“Alright, alright. But only twenty minutes, okay, Yui-chan?”

“Yay!! Let’s get Mitsuru-niichan to play too!!” 

_“At this point I don’t know if we’re lucky or cursed…”_ She sighed, staring at her juice. It was super tasty, but not even that was enough to distract her mind from their current situation.

“Senpai, are you alright…?” Hajime asked her once he sat down next to her in the back of the studio, while watching Tomoya getting his photoshoot done.

“Just tired, what about you? Are you ready?”

“Yes! The makeup artists said I have cute skin and that I’ll look good on the poster…” His voice slowly became softer until it wasn’t heard anymore.

“...You’re nervous too, huh?”

“...Yeah.” For many reasons, he wished he could say. “I-it’s just… this kind of thing, I thought it didn’t happen outside of dramas…”

“You and me, both.”

This was probably Ra*bits biggest job yet. A special variety show featuring the most outstanding rookie Idols of all over the country where they’d all compete and show their appeal to the audience in order to get more fans. Funny games, challenges and in between some serious competition, it would be full of funny and cute interactions between Idols and they got a chance to make connections _(she still refused to call them friends)_ with other people of the industry, which would make their future works from here on out easier… or harder.

Turns out, the executive producer of the show didn’t request Ra*bits because she or her team thought they were especially outstanding, but because _her daughter_ was a fan of them and wanted to see them.

Was this cheating? Maybe it was, the five of them thought, since there was probably someone left out because of this selfish decision, but they decided that -for both their mental health and _their future_ \- they’ll pretend it wasn’t a big deal for them.

These chances, gotten through luck and connections (as small as they might be, as small as _being the favorites of the daughter of some big executive producer)_ , were usually a blessing. Especially for rookie groups like Ra*bits, this was their chance to get a bigger fanbase and crave their name into the general public’s mind. And for y/n, it was a chance to impress people in the industry who would be willing to call for her and her idols again.

Given that they didn’t really get into the show due to their fame or abilities, they had to give a good impression to everyone. In every sense. Which meant: do not make the little girl cry, do not be rude to the staff, do not complain even when you’re tired and the little girl asks you to play with her, especially when her mother is on sight, and on top of it all, show everyone they didn’t make the wrong choice by enabling the little girl’s whims and letting you take part on this project.

y/n was good with strangers if all she needed to do was keep a business-only relationship, but when it came to something like appealing to her (temporary) superior’s daughter to keep her (and her idols’) job…? She couldn’t do that very well. Fortunately, the little girl seemed to look up to her and say things around the lines of “I want to grow up and be as cool as Onee-chan is!” And while that warmed her heart, she still didn’t know how to treat a little girl like her if she was technically working. Fortunately? That didn’t seem to bother the little girl, who at some point even looked like she was more attached to y/n than to her favorite idols.

“...Still, I’m glad we got the chance to work together, Senpai.” He said, without looking at her. “... ...I… I thought you hated us.”

“W-why?” She managed to say. Her kouhai didn’t look at her, instead he bit his lip and played with his fingers.

“I-I’m not sure, but… It felt as if… as if we bothered you when we talked to you…” He hurriedly turned to her shaking his hands in front of him. “O-of course now I know it’s not like that!! But… I guess it makes me happy, to know you don’t hate us and care for us…” _Care for me._

As Hajime bashfully looked down, y/n smiled and handed him a closed box of strawberry juice.

“I’m glad you feel comfortable working and… talking with me.” She said. “Let’s keep getting along from now on, alright?” The boy took the box on his hands, his heart skipping a beat when their fingers touched for a second.

“...Yes, of course.” 

“---Onee-chan! Can you tell me again what that idol-love-thingy was called?” The little girl approached her while dragging Nazuna with her by holding his fingers with her small hand.

“Idol-love-thingy… Oh, you mean the _renai-kinshi,_ the ban of love?”

Ah…

_Yes, there was that rule, huh…_

“Yeah! That thing! So, Nazuna-nii-chan, when I grow up and you get your ban lifted, can I marry you?!” The older boy only sighed and ruffled her hair softly.

“Like I said, you’re way too young to think about these things… Let’s focus on growing up and doing something we like instead of marriage, okay?”

“Mmm… If Nazuna-nii-chan insists I’ve got no choice…” The little girl pouted, before dramatically lifting her teddy bear from its hand. “Here’s for the dent of my first love…!”

“It’s ‘end’, not ‘dent’...”

“Yeah, that!!”

The three teenagers smiled at the little girl who started to ramble about something entirely different. Hajime took a sip from his box of juice while looking at them and listening to the little girl, his mind, however, was in another place.

The _renai-kinshi._ The ban of love.

_“Am I stupid for this, I wonder…?”_ He thought, before switching positions with Mitsuru to get his photoshoot done.

_The end of my first love, huh..._

“...Now look this way and… Yeah, just like that, Shino-kun!” The photographer praised, as he showed a smile and made a heart with his fingers.

_“...Back then, Senpai was only doing her job.”_ He thought, switching his pose again. _“But, still…”_

“Now, please look to the camera lens and act as if you’re in front of the girl you like!”

_“...Still, I can’t help but think I have actually fallen for her…”_

  


With a click and a flash, his picture was taken.

With a click and a flash, he decided he didn’t want to regret anything.

So he would try and confess his feelings to her, no matter her answer, he wouldn’t hold any grudges or regrets.

Or… that was his plan, at least.

  


“Me…? The… the main vocal for the theme song…?” He stared wide-eyed at the producers and the lyric sheets on his hands.

“Yes! When the composer heard your voice in the last rehearsal he said your voice was the one who fit the position the best!” The executive producer of the show told him, clapping her hands while smiling. She was incredibly satisfied with their work.

“Isn’t it nice, Hajime-kun?” His eyes went back to his senpai, who smiled warmly at him. “You’ve done a great job. You deserve it.”

A nervous smile adorned his face, as he bowed to them.

“...Thank you for the opportunity. Please count on me!”

  
  


“...is what I said, but…” It was after school hours. Hajime walked alone in the empty hallways, listening to the demo song of the variety show.

His heart beat faster and faster every time he thought about the possible mistakes he could make while recording and while performing live as a main vocalist.

Then there were the challenges to add more pressure to him.

He was no fun.

He was no main vocal.

But… he had to do it.

And he was scared of ruining it all for everyone, and he didn’t know what to do.

“...but what… what can I even do…?” He felt a lump in his throat and struggled not to cry, but nevertheless, he still heard his sobbing echoing in the emptiness of the hallway.

And he wasn’t the only one who heard them.

  


_“...Shino, Hajime-kun?”_ An unfamiliar voice called for him. He tensed and tried to clean his eyes before turning around, where he was met by kind, warm amber eyes staring at him with worry.

“Y-yes…?”

_“Please, don't feel the need to hide your TEARS. Let’s talk, shall WE? Come with ME.”_

The red-haired boy reached out his hand for Hajime to take, patiently smiling and waiting for him. Hajime hesitated.

_“...I can help YOU, if you let me do IT.”_

Perhaps it was the voice the unfamiliar senpai used, or the calming aura surrounding him. But Hajime took his hand, and let himself be guided towards a club room with him. Hajime believed him.

Hajime believed that, maybe, he could help him.

That his anxious feelings, that right now might be more alive than ever, crawling on his skin and trying to tear him apart from inside, would die down if he listened to him now.

At least, they would die soon.

  
  


_(Hopefully and with no regrets, Natsume thought, they will die soon)._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a long time because I wasn't satisfied with how it had turned out. Hopefully, you'll like this one! Happy (late) new years!
> 
> I've been posting this on Quotev as well, and will be editing minor details (such as Natsume's speech) on the previous chapters. Hopefully (lol) I'll be posting the next chapter next month around this time or maybe a bit earlier! Thank you for reading <3


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